i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
