who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
