I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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