It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.