i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
