You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
