How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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