He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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