It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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