everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
