You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
