It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
