It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
