Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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