I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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