I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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