look no pants
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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