That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
