he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
