My cat gives me a boner
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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