like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
