She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
