I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize