Me too!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
