i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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