She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
