when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My vagina just recognized that song.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
