Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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