Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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