Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
there was a trapeze. enough said
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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