my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
