Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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