Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
