drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
