you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
