very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
