I accidentally burped into my bong.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
