I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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