I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
