either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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