Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
