you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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