yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
