Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I need moral support for this bender
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Randomize