that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
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