Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
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He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
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Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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