420 ftw
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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