In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It all started with a game of naked twister.