Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?