i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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