Porn is love you can see.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.