i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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