I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
