a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just tell him i said nine months
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
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