i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
