If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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