Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
