My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize