whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
