wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
