wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
