Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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