He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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