Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
