just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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