I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Dear god my vagina.
Shame - the story of my life.
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