Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
